Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
