Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
