apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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