I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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