There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
