Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
