is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
