R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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