You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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