I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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