my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
