Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
