i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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