ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
