Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Panties = found
Randomize
