you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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