then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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