He felt like a one man threesome
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
