Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.

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(813): View more from Florida

Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"

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(805): View more from California

not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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(361): View more from Texas

I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?

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