STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
