She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
