And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
