i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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