You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
