I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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