rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my shit smells like andre
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
