first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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