I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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