I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
