You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
