i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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