Dual....:-)
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
