That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
