What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
vagina is talking i cant
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
