If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
