I want to make a zoo with you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
ok first of all what the fuck
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
