I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my being single is dangerous.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
