another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
