You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
