I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
