And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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