Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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