Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
