Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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