Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
