I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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