Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
