Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
