if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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