4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
