I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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